Plugged In: How to achieve Snapchat stardom

Morgan Kinney, Columnist

Snapchat changed my life. I really mean it. It started as this mildly amusing sideshow, but now it has become the most convenient and entertaining way to keep up with friends from back home.

There is a subtle artistry to crafting a worthy Snapchat that’ll elicit the intended “LOL” and “LMFAO” from your friends. Let’s face it, though — some of our friends are just flat-out bad Snapchatters. But fear not, that’s why there is this guide to help the least funny of us send the most disgusting selfies and the most hilarious snaps.

Like any fine art, there’s no way you can master Snapchat in one day. It takes months of trial and error to realize the nuanced cleverness that defines an exceptional Snapchat. So here’s a crash course on the most basic techniques to help you become the stuff of legend:

  1. The more chins the better. It defies logic and everything you learned in high school: In order to send a desirable selfie, you need to make yourself look as disgusting as possible. This means tucking your head close to your chest in order to maximize your chin-to-face ratio. You should aim in the ballpark of 3:1. It also helps to take the selfie in low light and from that awkward angle where nobody looks good.
  2. You want to be creepy. This is the classic zoomed in picture of your friend from across the room captioned “I see you.” Your friend is probably unknowingly making some stupid face, and they’ll be embarrassed about that. And it’s always hilarious to watch them try and find you, too.
  3. Captions are key. A simple caption can elevate a normal picture to an awesome Snapchat, but, as Shakespeare said, brevity is the soul of wit. You don’t have a lot of room to work with, so it has to be snappy and quick. It has to be obvious. It helps to be timely. This component is entirely contextual and easily one of the most challenging — and most important — parts of the craft. Mastering captions is the first step toward becoming a master of Snapchat itself.

Admittedly, snapchatting is not as easy as 1-2-3. I won’t pretend that it is. I was once a rookie, too. So stop reading this and start snapchatting. Go forth and become the selfie star you were meant to be.