Welcome back, Wildcats. If your Winter Break was anything like mine, you spent a lot of it watching sexy HBO shows while your actual sexy parts were buried under layers of sweatpants and fuzzy blankets. You frequented your favorite diners and shamelessly guzzled Christmas cookies with little consideration for your future romantic prospects.
But now it’s a new quarter, and the gods of academia have forced us all to emerge from hibernation. What better a time to reassess our attitudes about sexuality than the start of the new year? As your friendly neighborhood sex columnist, I’d like to offer some resolutions to move you toward a happier, healthier sex life for 2013.
Put yourself first
This year, equipped with a new workout plan and a rejuvenated libido, you can take charge of your own pleasure. As it stands, our sexual script tends to favor the male orgasm, leaving 75 percent of women unable to climax during intercourse, according to a 2009 ABC poll. Too often, intercourse begins when men want it to and ends after their big shebang. This year, demand better for yourself. Ask for more foreplay, and don’t let the party end until you’re 100 percent satisfied. According to a recent survey from Cosmopolitan magazine, 62 percent of readers wish they received more oral. Well, girls, I think it’s high time we make those wishes come true. A partner who cares about you should be willing to do anything to make sure you’re happy. And if he’s not, you shouldn’t be in bed with him.
Get a new toy
While the sweaters and gift cards you received for the holidays were probably purchased with good intention, they’re not going to enhance your quality of life. Siphon off a little Christmas money and get yourself a new piece for your collection — or a starter piece if it’s your first time. Though the concept might seem extreme, sex toys have become an almost-mainstream commodity since the release of E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Early2bed, a sex boutique off the CTA Red Line, has a large variety of toys and a friendly and an incredibly helpful staff. Go treat yourself to something special.
It’s scientifically proven that stress can have a negative effect on libido. Dr. Laura Berman, sex expert and assistant clinical professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine, writes that being over-scheduled can lead to an unhealthy buildup of adrenaline, causing grumpiness, fatigue and other symptoms that will make you bad news in the bedroom. So chill out. I know we’re busy kids, but less stress means better sex, and isn’t that worth our time? So take a walk, do some yoga, or watch a few episodes of “Glee” if that’s what it takes. Just don’t go into the bedroom tensed up, or you’ll never leave happy.
It’s a new year, Wildcats. Strive for the best and stick to your guns.
— Tonya Starr