The Daily Northwestern

The Rundown: Week of Oct. 7

Haley Boston, Columnist

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This week in the lives of the rich and famous…

A couple trendy European members of the boy band One Direction commented Monday they saw a “likeness” between their band (Can we really call it that?) and The Beatles. Try to guess which one of the aforementioned pop groups played real instruments, wrote their own songs and ever-so-slightly revolutionized an entire genre of music. Hint: The other One is headed down a different path … and in the wrong Direction.

Wellington, New Zealand’s capital city, will be officially renamed “The Middle of Middle-Earth” for a three-week period during which the new movie “The Hobbit” will premiere. While New Zealanders bask in this tourist attraction, the rest of the sane world may think again before venturing to Middle Earth.

Mediocre screenwriter Kelly Marcel will write the first installment of the “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy. Her former work includes the television show “Terra Nova,” which I’ve only experienced through choppy previews while indulging in reruns of “New Girl.” Looks like the poorly written pornographic novel will have an equally inadequate sci-fi film companion.

Rosie O’Donnell reported Sunday she’d like to buy Honey Boo Boo’s family a house. All people of the world subsequently cursed TLC for throwing money at white American families with tons of kids rather than aiding those who are losing children to illness. We also wonder why we have yet to absorb anything of value from this so-called “learning” channel.

If you haven’t seen recent pictures of Sarah Palin, you wouldn’t know the former governor of Alaska now looks like a skeleton. So naturally, she’s set out to write a book on fitness and self-discipline. The Palins are all about enforcing their expertise in subjects they know nothing about, like politics.

The media assumes everyone is shaking in anticipation to know the status of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s rocky relationship. You may breathe easy now because, as of Monday, the “Twilight” co-stars are reportedly back together. We think they should just move on because everyone else has ditched Team Edward for Team PeeNiss.

The “Toy Story” franchise is taking a turn for the terrifying. After bidding a teary farewell to our beloved childhood friends, we can experience their dreadful misfortunes in the 2013 TV special “Toy Story Of Terror.” When it comes to introducing children to the horror genre, we might as well torture their favorite animated characters.

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