Dirty Talk: Let’s get this started

Phoebe González, Columnist

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Hello, guys, girls, men, women and beings!

Let’s get this started. My name is Phoebe Gene Gonzalez and I will be your dedicated, loving and brutally honest sex columnist for this quarter. I’m ready (and incredibly excited) to talk kink, consent and how-tos. So let me use this first column to give you a brief description of who I am and what I want this column to be.

I enjoy sunshine, the music of Stevie Wonder and theater. However, the most relevant fact I can tell you about myself is that I am an unabashed fan of sex. Let me qualify that. I am an unabashed fan of good sex. In the best of situations, it’s this crazy awesome thing you get to do with someone you care about where both of you end up satisfied! But I also recognize things aren’t always quite so rosy in the bedroom. Between one-night stands, semi-consistent hook ups and even (gasp!) long-term serious relationships, sex can get messy. And weird. And awkward. I’ve known so many self-assured people (yours truly not excluded) who have suddenly turned to mush at the mere mention of sexual activity. And if you’re mush, you can’t very well articulate what you want in bed to your significant other. People shouldn’t be afraid to talk about sex!

So here I am. I want to talk and to share and to explore enough for everybody. Themes I envision discussing include foreplay, saying “Yes!” when you want to, the challenges of having quiet sex and why all those girls in movies can come in two seconds. But my rants and riffs on a sex topic will only happen every other week. The weeks in between, I’ll be taking questions from readers. I’m pumped — ask me anything. Get gross, get real. I promise I won’t share your name. Think of me as Dan Savage minus his gender, sexuality  and negative stance on monogamy. The week of Oct. 15 will be the first column I take questions for, so send me an email at dirtytalk2015@gmail.com any time before then and I will be glad to respond.

Lastly, I want to conclude by stating what this column will not be. It’s not going to be a steamy Harlequin-novel-style retelling of every single one of my sexual escapades. I’m glad to share any of my experiences if I think they’ll be helpful, but this isn’t going to be a self-indulgent, look-at-me-let-me-tell-you-every-single-detail-about-my-sex-life sort of column. I’m writing this because I want to participate in the conversation about sex. I want a more honest, less euphemism-filled and more pleasure-centric discussion. I’m not always going to have the answers, but I’ll never be afraid to ask the questions.

So come back to me next week, Wildcats. When things will get really dirty.

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