Returning students, read on and resist gawking at my reappearance.

New students, prepare to ride on a roller coaster. No, not the Raging Bull or Superman rides you rode last Saturday, either.

The roller coaster I’m asking you all to fasten your seat belts for is one that roughly six thousand of us are already aboard: college life.

The things you think about are constant and unwavering – your beliefs, preconceived notions, friends and other things may prove inconsistent or fleeting. You may think you know, but you have no idea.

This bio is not the Diary of Derrick Clifton – though I cannot always promise the same for my columns.

I don’t write to coo you or make you comfortable – in fact, I write to do the exact opposite: to disturb the thoughts and beliefs which you might not otherwise question. Not to haunt you, but to allow for dialogues – internally and with others – about what you think you may know oh so well.

So while you expend energy thinking about how you can attach my columns to me as an individual, I’m usually busy studying and living it up during my senior year as a Communication student that loves Joy Yee’s, chucking down a Woodchuck, laughing at Michele Bachmann and consuming anything Wendy Williams.