Walk down a hallway to class and hear someone shout at you, “Go to hell, stupid faggot.” Change clothes after returning home from school and see “turn straight” written on the back of your uniform shirt. In your own embarrassment and hurt, and with no one to turn to at home, it all gets internalized.
That was everyday life for me in my early teens.
Had someone been there, and eventually those people showed up in many ways, to reassure me that things would be fine and that I was appreciated for who I was, I’m now almost certain those years wouldn’t have been as tough as they were for me.
That’s why a campaign like It Gets Better sends such a powerful message to teens and young adults from all walks of life, assuring them that they are loved beyond measure even if it isn’t immediately seen around them.
So when I read stories like Jamey Rodemeyer’s, the 14-year-old from New York who committed suicide last week following relentless bullying, I hurt for him and the many others we don’t hear about who endure depression and attempt or commit suicide. In the past year, stories like his have become the topic of widespread media coverage, generating useful dialogue along with the It Gets Better campaign created by Dan Savage and his partner.
Though, I wonder, are things actually getting better?
More than 5,000 teens commit suicide each year on average, and cyber bullying is on the rise, according to experts. Government studies indicate that estimates on the prevalence of bullying are not fully representative of the real situation because much of it goes unreported. And shockingly, teachers intervene in a paltry 14 percent of classroom bullying incidents and 4 percent of bullying that takes place outside the classroom.
Yet bullying and suicides are still prevalent, even with a campaign as widespread as It Gets Better.
But a solution to the issue doesn’t start and end with this campaign.
We can’t rely simply on the clips themselves to remedy bullying. Using our voices to speak out for a solution on YouTube is one thing, though direct action is another.
And for things to “get better,” there’s much to do.
It’s going to take action from elected officials to create sound policy that makes it clear that bullying is not only unacceptable, but also illegal.
It’s going to take action from school teachers and principals who notice children struggling with relentless cruelty from peers and not ignoring desperate cries for help. More parents will need to confront the parents of bullies and school officials when necessary to demand a remedy to how their child is treated. And when awful things happen as a result of inaction, those adults should take some responsibility for their apathy.
This is more than just “kids being kids” – it is a life or death issue.
It’s going to take bold stands to “family-focused” conservative groups who, in their own inhuman malice, characterize anti-bullying initiatives as part of a pro-gay agenda. Bullying affects all children, gay or straight, Democrat or Republican.
It’s going to take more of us to support initiatives from groups like Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network and Trevor Project that work for suicide prevention and to create more welcoming environments for teens and young adults in their communities.
And even here at Northwestern, it’s going to take more dedication from those in power to ensure that all students – LGBT students included – get more financial support for the resources they need to ensure our campus remains a safe space. It’s encouraging that NU Athletics created an It Gets Better video. Softball coach Kate Drohan is right when she says that the message of the video transcends sexual orientation and speaks to acceptance for all.
As a columnist who once characterized NU as a community “skating on thin ice with LGBT issues,” I see NU Athletics’ statement as a sign that things are getting better. For all students’ sake, I hope that is true.
It Gets Better cannot be limited to clips on YouTube. We must make the message part of our daily lives and promote its message unapologetically. This starts with us and – if it hasn’t started already – direct action instead of lip service must start right now.
Derrick Clifton is a Communication senior. He can be reached at [email protected]
