The Rundown: The real, the raunchy and the rumored

Been too busy dealing with post-Winter Break depression to properly keep up on your celebrity news? The Current’s got you covered.

THE REAL:

Lindsay Lohan exits rehab. Congratulations to her, but hopefully everyone’s favorite trainwreck’s newfound sobriety doesn’t kill her entertainment value. (What’s left of it, anyway.) She’s reportedly gotten advice from Inception’s Tom Hardy, who’s been sober since 2003. Other post-rehab shenanigans include chatting up Spike Lee at a recent Lakers-Knicks game and a “friendly” dinner date with ex Samantha Ronson.

Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin break up. Naysayers can roll their eyes all they want, but rest assured, this rep-confirmed split is a tragedy. The Black Swan beauty and that Home Alone kid were definitely a couple worth rooting for – at least if you’re a perpetually pre-pubescent boy in need of a role model. But alas, Beauty and the Nerd no more.

David and Victoria Beckham are expecting Baby No. 4. The soccer star and the former Spice Girl are adding a fourth child to their adorable and male-dominated brood of future soccer players. No word on the gender yet, but would the world be able to handle a mini Posh Spice?

THE RAUNCHY:

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were spotted canoodling in the Caribbean. While some fans might be singing, “Baby, baby, baby, no,” to the idea of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez dating, new pictures of the two of them cuddling up beside the pool have surfaced for the public to behold. It seems the argument of “Are they or aren’t they?” has been settled and fans have moved on to something far more pressing: “Do we call them Jelena or Sustin?” (We’re rooting for Gober.)

Gwyneth Paltrow is hooking up with Matthew Morrison. Well, on TV anyway: “Glee” co-creator Ryan Murphy told Entertainment Weekly that Paltrow would reprise her role as try-hard substitute Holly Holiday, this time coming back to date the club’s director Mr. Schuester. Cee-Lo Green liked Gwyneth’s version of “F— You” so much that the duo recorded a version of the hit single together. Anyone else hoping she sings a Coldplay song when she guest stars again?

THE RUMORED:

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens back together. After Zanessa was spotted locking lips at a club last weekend, some hopeful fans are speculating that the Disney couple has reunited. Looks like our fellow (pseudo-)Wildcats just can’t “break free” of each other.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift broken up. Reps haven’t confirmed or denied, but we can all look forward to hearing about her achy, Jake-y heart in her next album. Here’s to hoping for a single about how coffee runs and frozen yogurt dates led to heartbreak once again.