10. Season 9 American Idol runner-up Crystal Bowersox wed longtime boyfriend Brian Walker in a Chicago café. The singer wore a hemp gown and received a ruby ring to avoid “the violence and injustice that occurs within the diamond trade.” Congratulations for throwing the most clichéd hippie wedding. Ever.
9. Friends star and NU alum David Schwimmer finally announced his June marriage to 25-year-old British photographer Zoe Buckman. Who would have guessed that Friends can keep secrets?
8. In an unexpected turn of events, the Insane Clown Posse revealed that they are actually Evangelical Christians, finally letting us in on the inexplicable con they’ve been playing on fans for the last twenty years. Guess that was the clowns’ final joke.
7. Hilary Duff is making her comeback as Hollywood’s latest singer/actress-turned-author. Her new novel, Elixir, is about a photojournalist who discovers the paranormal (what else?) and will be the first of a series. At least it’s not another book about vampires…
6. Jake Scott, director of “Welcome to the Wileys,” says working with actress Kristen Stewart is “kind of like wrangling a herd of cats.” He described her as vulpine, wolfish, and kind of twitchy. Seems like she took her “Twilight” character to heart.
5. Miley Cyrus’ new music video “Who Own My Heart” was condemned by the Parents Television Council, of which her dad is a member of the advisory board (surprise!). Guess daddy’s daughter really can’t be tamed.
4. Rumor has it Katy Perry is getting married in India next week to fiancé Russel Brand. Looks like she’s finally fulfilling her teenage dream.
3. Snooki’s community service will be served this weekend. Her punishment? Signing autographs for three hours. Watch out for hand cramps, the life of crime is a hard one.
2. Kim Kardashian became the subject of a bar fight Thursday after a fan’s jealous girlfriend threw a drink in the reality star’s face. Kim may be taking on New York, but the Big Apple might not be ready!
1. After Courtney Cox and David Arquette announced their trial separation Monday, Arquette revealed personal relationship details to Howard Stern’s radio show, like how “Courtney feels like his mother” and they have “no sex life.” David, even though you apologized, we’re pretty sure that confession won’t be helping you revive that love-life!
