PIKE FORMAL RULES (WHAT?? CAN’T HEAR YOU!!) PIKE FORMAL RULES!!Of all the frats we’ve written about this quarter, Pike has been the most entertaining to mention. They’ve gotten in so many fights with Lodge, had so many date parties that ended up in ruination and debauchery and plus, they even have Chet Hanks as a pledge! We just think you guys are the best.

So it was no surprise to find out Pike’s formal was a blast-even though no fights went down! It was held last Saturday night at Carnivale, a swanky bar/restaurant in the Loop, and from the time buses picked up the Pike boys and their dates from Theta, Kappa, A Phi and more (as well as those unaffiliated girls-much love!), the liquor was flowing and the awkward dancing way on. At the event, a Pike alumnus reportedly gave a drunken speech (is there any other kind?) about a time he blacked out and ran down Lake Shore Drive, with his pants appropriately off (during the speech, not the LSD trip). With his mom allegedly watching on as her baby boy tried to get the tears flowing, one Theta senior “left to buy more drinks. It was too painful to watch.” After a few years off the reservation, it’s fun to see Pike near the top of the frat chain again, though they’ll probably be on probation in a few years. The cycle continues.

808S AND TONS OF HEARTBREAKRemember when 808 Promotions threw all those great parties of your college years? Parties at Underground, Bon V, Enclave and other hot spots were always filled with people and trendy liquor sponsors to make you feel good about those expensive cab rides into the city. But recently, we’ve been hearing that the events have lost their luster, as people just aren’t showing up as much as they used to. Last Friday’s event at Enclave was “pretty empty,” says one melancholy attendee. “It was empty enough that the cute bartenders were interested in talking to college girls.” Uh, wouldn’t they be doing that anyways? On the Evite, there were only 53 confirmed guests-fine for a birthday party, but when compared against the 590 unconfirmed invitees, not too exciting. Not even the lack of a cover could get the people coming-next time, maybe they should pay people to go. At least the bartenders will have more girls to hit on