Sexual State of Mind

Ellen DeBatty

I’m sure you’ve all seen those men and women porn stars who pull off the most athletic and seemingly impossible sexual positions that leave you speechless and blushing. Without a doubt, seeing some of those scenes makes you wonder what your partner would do if you spontaneously busted out some kinky new position or scenario one night, ranging anywhere from role-playing to standing up 69-ing (just make sure your man’s been doing his bicep curls). After talking with friends, I wondered where you draw the line when trying out unconventional new moves meant to spice up your love life.’ Consider the following: A new position. Granted, we all are not blessed with double-jointed hips like Ms. Jenna Jameson seems to be, but missionary position every single night will undeniably put your partner to sleep. Ever seen him or her yawning while you’re trying to get your groove on?’ If so, it’s probably time to shake things up. Casually suggest trying a new position to gauge your partner’s interest, maybe starting with something a little more traditional and then working your way up to those risque positions that demand some serious cardio and stretching preparation. If your partner seems uninterested or a little freaked out, try again some other time-pushing something super-kinky too hard may scare your partner off. Introducing sex toys into your repertoire. If a woman brings a vibrator into the mix, it may make her man feel somewhat insecure that he can’t take care of getting her off on his own. Instead of immediately pulling out what keeps you females entertained on lonely nights, opt for starting with something a tad less adventurous. Those vibrating rings (available at any drugstore) can be a great toy to try out-just slide it on him and both partners can experience totally new sensations in those below-the-belt regions. If he’s not into that, try something like handcuffs or tying him up with one of his neckties. Just make sure you give him full notice if you’re planning on pulling out the leather facemask and studded belt. ‘ ‘ ‘

Getting rough. We all know the difference between the proverbial ‘making love’ and that word for sex I’m not allowed to put into print. So when is rough sex too rough? Bruises are generally a good indication things might have gotten a little out of control, but then again, some people are into that sort of thing. If you’re not up for explaining your black-and-blue body parts to your friends but in the mood for some dirtier-than-usual sex, try some light spanking or hair tugging. If you don’t like it, let your partner know and continue on-but it just might surprise you that you can sometimes be in the mood for some seriously carnal loving. ‘ ‘ ‘

Above all, both partners need to feel comfortable in order to truly enjoy themselves. So if you’re into hardcore kinky pleasures, consider easing into those fetishes so your love interest doesn’t bolt for the door. For most of us, pleasing the other person is half the fun of any sexual experience, so hear your partner out when they express their sexual desires and fantasies. It takes some guts to say what you truly want in bed, especially if it’s a little out of the ordinary.