Tuesday 03
Morning. Hungover. Cute girl not in class today. Boring walk to Tech. Class until 6 p.m. Homework gets the finger tonight. At home, I join the 6:20 hookah circle and crack a beer. Something’s missing… purchase weed. Poor but high and happy. Friend comes over with Cool-Jewish-Friend. Hours of flip cup. Made a ski trip LSD pact with roommates and CJF. Many girls tonight, no biddies.
Wednesday 04
I guess my “week” ended on Tuesday. Drinking tonight as well, and Thursday, naturally, which brings us to Friday. “You’re drinking… on Wednesday?” Why is drinking on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so taboo? You’ll drink your face off Monday or Thursday! Come on Northwestern, step it up. No people to drink with, but many games of Chandeliers. Found a forgotten 30-rack in refrigerator. Much joy.
Thursday 05
Good start! 95% on midterm, so I’m never going to class again. Smoked a joint on the roof of my friend’s frat. Have you noticed everyone looks down when they walk? Depressing. Student group drinking party night. LOTS OF BEER. Northwestern is funny… a school where theater and other groups are just as “problematic” as frats. Organized social life is bizarre. Oh yeah, everyone got naked.
Friday 06
Getting out of bed sucks. No 1 p.m. class. Smoke and go to 2 p.m. class. This is awesome! New rule: Smoke before every class. Didn’t care that I made a mess of the Goldfish I was eating. Went to roommate’s sorority party. So many Latina girls! Cops, Latinas know how to evacuate a house. More Skol and Everclear punch. Cool girls stick around till 5. Walk them home, avoiding rapists.
Saturday 07
Not hungover? Wow. Bong. 70 degrees? Bong. Can’t stay inside today. Head to the beach to fly a power kite. And smoke. You can really smoke anywhere here. People are too busy to bother. Home. Bong. Build fort. Bong. Drink leftover Everclear. Gross. Tired, but it’s Saturday, so I have to push through. On my sixth night of drinking, it’s hard to get drunk. This could bite me later.
Sunday 08
3 p.m. wake up. The fort is blocking the view of the clock. Hungry. Move to futon to smoke. Hungry. Move to the porch for hookah. Still hungry, and substances are not helping. Chipotle is the answer. Followed by bong in fort. Don’t feel like working, so watch both Oceans 11 and 12 to procrastinate. Work successfully avoided. Smoking too much, not getting high. Another standard Sunday gone.
Monday 09
Headed for class but remember Friday’s smoking rule. Convinced to play Skol-cranberry pong instead. Smoke. Made a drunk pact. To the library for redemption (first time this year!). Home, dinner, drink for The Keg. Drinking isn’t easy, so I use the funnel. At The Keg, too sober. Shots, better. Bar closes, grilled cheese. I can eat a ton of grilled cheese. Thanks, DG. What? 5:30 a.m.? Already? College!
