Firing Squad

Find better toilet, keep off my chairPerhaps I’m too familiar with my sheepskin-covered swivel chair I so lovingly brought with me to college. To me, it looks like a chair. To the girl who broke into my dorm last Sunday morning: a toilet. Surprisingly, waking up at 5 a.m. to a drunk floormate peeing on my chair and carpet did not leave me screaming hysterics or frozen in shock, reactions my friends assured me they would have had in a similar situation. Rather, my roommate rolled over to go back to sleep and I started laughing out of frustration. The same thing happened to me a mere four months ago. My same poor chair was even involved.In last ditch efforts to make me feel better about the fresh pee stain next to the desk and the two stains outside my door, fellow Wildcats have shared with me their shameless stories of blacking out and peeing on everything from friends to Annenberg Hall. It’s gross, they assured me, but not that big a deal. OK, I get it. You’re wasted, four rounds worth of flip cup are pulling at your bladder and location is not an issue. You need to pee… NOW! But please, my chair is not the place to do so. I may be laughing now and even in 60 years when I reminisce with my grandkids. But until then, lay off my chair. It’s been seeing a little too much action.- Mina ShankarDesignerThief gives nasty housewarming giftThis weekend, one of the worst things imaginable for a college student happened to me. Just two weeks after I eagerly moved into my off-campus house, we were robbed – or rather “burglarized” as the Evanston police kindly informed me later. On this typical Saturday night, one of my roommates and I were getting ready to go out. I was taking a shower on the second floor of my house while she was getting dressed on the third floor. When I came out of the shower, I wanted to check my BlackBerry, which I could have sworn was plugged in on my night stand. When neither my roommate nor I could find it in by my tiny eight-by-eight room, we just assumed I was crazy. And then, with slight panic in my voice, I asked, “Liz, have you seen my laptop?”It turns out during the 15 to 20 minutes I was in the shower, someone came into our house and left with four laptops, a BlackBerry and my backpack. We frantically called the police who arrived at a non-urgent pace. Needless to say, they weren’t as shocked as I thought they would be. In fact, they informed us this happens all the time, and we’re perfect targets.Very comforting. OK, granted our back door was unlocked, but it just never crossed my mind that at 9 p.m. on Saturday when all of the lights are on is the prime time for robbery. Or, excuse me, burglary. And everyone keeps reminding me it was just stuff and thank God nothing happened to us, but at the same time I feel extremely violated. Someone came into my room, looked through my stuff, and took everything of value. Not only am I paranoid about living in Evanston now, I’m also disappointed with the quality of protection provided by the Evanston police. Right after they quickly dismissed our case and left us quite distressed. A quick note to the Evanston police: There is actual crime out there. – Anna Wolonciej