Ganjani: Wearing a thong for all seasons

Adam Ganjani

Now that the election season has ended, I can finally stop spouting right-wing talking points and start writing about something Northwestern students truly care about: hilarious and/or revealing Halloween costumes.

Over the past week, Facebook users have littered newsfeeds across the nation with Halloween photo albums. As I am sure you have noticed, these montages show students in top form.

Anyone who has ever been to a Halloween party knows that there is usually at least one Playboy bunny or pirate in attendance.

But the visual assault of a guy clad in the infamous Borat bikini and the ingenuity of a sexed-up candy corn costume led me to wonder: Why can’t we wear costumes for every holiday?

I know what you’re thinking: No one wants to hear their grandma make cracks about her Sexy Pilgrim costume at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But hear me out on this. Adding costumes to holidays would make previously unbearable events more exciting.

In a way, we already have costumes for most holidays – they’re just boring. Consider Christmas: Creepy old men get to dress as Santa Claus in malls across America, and yet you sit at home in an ugly sweater not even a homeless person would wear. Why?

Take the Catholic Church’s approach. Ever since it asked its members to wear decorative forehead paint the day before Lent, Ash Wednesday has been significantly more fun.

And although Sean Hannity (my idol) may disagree, I have a feeling that any couple wearing matching sexy Uncle Sam and Betsy Ross costumes would set off fireworks at any Independence Day event.

Costumes could also restore luster to holidays no one seems to care about anymore. There’s a reason Columbus Day is dismissed as just another Wednesday.

It could be due to the fact that no one really cares about greedy, aloof explorers and that school and work are seldom canceled for the holiday.

However, I have a feeling that Columbus Day apathy has more to do with the lack of costumes.

Who wouldn’t want to dress up as sexy versions of the Niña, Pinta, or Santa María? I know I would.

When the Pagans thought up Halloween costumes, they had no idea that centuries later, college students would exploit their creation for hormone-driven gains.

At NU, we truly have a chance to make history by inventing creative and inappropriate costumes for every occasion.

No, it may not be a mainstream idea. But in a world run amok with political correctness, it couldn’t hurt to throw a little fun into the mix.

Do as you wish. But something tells me I won’t be alone when I put on an American flag thong this February for President’s Day.

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Costumes could also restore prominence to holidays no one seems to care about anymore. There’s a reason why Columbus Day is so often put in the background of our society. It could be due to the fact that no one really cares about greedy, aloof explorers and that no one gets off school or work for the holiday. However, I have a feeling that Columbus Day apathy has more to do with a lack of costumes.

Who wouldn’t want to dress up as sexy versions of the Niña, Pinta, or Santa María? I know I would.

When the Pagans thought up Halloween costumes, they had no idea that centuries later, college students would exploit their idea for their own hormone-driven gains. Yet, at NU, we truly have a chance at making history by inventing creative and inappropriate costumes for every occasion.

No, it may not be a mainstream concept, but in a world run amok with political correctness, it couldn’t hurt to throw a little fun into the mix. Do as you wish, but something tells me I won’t be alone when I put on an American flag thong this President’s Day.