The other day I noticed several fraternity guys tossing four or five gigantic black trash bags into a waiting Dumpster. Although I can’t profess to what was actually in those bags, it’s safe to say that empty beer cans sound the same whether you can see them or not.
Anyway, as they chucked the empty cans into the garbage, I had an interesting idea. Imagine all the aluminum in those trash bags. Think about all the influence fraternities have – sorority groupies, philanthropy events and all the random publicity stunts – and then you might believe me when I say that the average beer-guzzling college frat could potentially be the next savior of a clean, sustainable world.
Please don’t turn the page now. Obviously you’ve heard it all before – clean energy, green living, eating things off pita bread and all that stuff. It’s old news to talk about recycling, and I know that being told that your way of life is untenable is oftentimes a turn-off. And that’s totally cool. But hear me out, because the frat boy who sits next to you in econ just might be the next Al Gore.
Plenty of social fraternities all over the country share the same habits and tendencies: the vulgar streaking, the constant partying, the drinking games, philanthropy fundraisers and all those bar nights. If you just add a little spin, there are so many aspects of male Greek life that can be transformed from fraternally idiotic to environmentally ingenious.
Streaking? By CONSERVING clothes, they don’t support sweatshops in Malaysia.
Chapter dinners? Mass-made buffet style meals bought in bulk REDUCE materials required to cook for individuals.
Beer pong? When you REUSE red solo cups for thirty games of Beirut, everybody wins (except the guy who accidentally drinks from the water cup).
Aluminum cans? RECYCLING!
All the various philanthropy money can go straight to environmental foundations, and sorority groupies can be encouraged to pursue natural awareness causes. Oh, the green-ness of it all!
Check out that logic, baby. You know I’m on to something here.
Personally, I try to conserve, but the blue recycling bin in my dorm last year spent the entirety of Fall Quarter overturned and used as a nightstand. I think that if we give other frat guys like me a push in the right direction, we can show the world that we can be all helpful and pro-environment, too.
My only concern is that if fraternities do go green, they have to keep the fun recklessness for which they’re known. If our social scene becomes overly dictated by recycling efforts, then Saturday evening post-football victory celebrations are going to be about as much fun as the Donner Party.
As long as it doesn’t cut into our fun, I think being Greek and being green can be one and the same. I mean, honestly… they’re only one letter apart, right?