For one week in March tens of thousands of concertgoers descend on Austin for the city’s annual South by Southwest music festival – one of the largest in the country. This year, they will overcrowd the hotels, pack the flights into the city and steal my parking space. Those in the office here at Texas Monthly have been talking about the event for weeks. I thought many of these people haven’t listened to music since 1987, when the festival was founded.
Friday, March 14
Joan of Arc @ The Wristband ($120-$160)
There are only 2,000 wristbands available. To get one you must con someone into believing that you’re an Austin resident. Even then, all of the badge holders get to enter every show before you; then, if there is room, you can squeeze in and stand against the back wall. Luckily, there are somewhere around 1,400 bands signed-up to play this year, and I can guarantee there won’t be too many people lined up outside of this show. Come to support a Chicago act but don’t expect anyone else to join you.
Friday, March 14
Dolly Parton @ Austin Music Hall – The Badge ($500-$650)
The music badge is God. With it you can go anywhere you please and, if you have one, this is where it will please you to be. How is this for a budget breakdown: If Dolly Parton, 62, has had, as it is widely rumored, at least 2 breast enlargement operations and 1 breast reduction operation on her 40DD chest over the past 40 years at a standard rate of $4,000 per operation, it will cost each of the estimated 4,000 concertgoers $3, the rough equivalent of a cheap venue beer. Breasts or beer? Taking into account all of the free drinks you can get at local parties, I say let’s pass the basket.
Saturday March 15
The Virgins @ Brush Square Park – Free
They aren’t worth flying in for, but if you’re going to be in Austin area there are dozens of free “parties.” Chop Shop Records is teaming up with Atlantic (because it’s the only way anybody will show up) for this event in Brush Square Park. Well, they’ll also come for the free beer. The Virgins are an all-male New York quartet that claims New Wave as their primary inspiration, which means they are a bunch of American Apparel-clad boys trying to make a living off of something they do in-between smoking and rolling. I have no doubt that they are, in fact, all virgins. That’s not counting whatever it is that they do with each other.
