I’ve always thought that it’s generally safe to assume that everyone at Northwestern can read – and then can use that ability to process and interpret signs, allowing them to properly function in the world around them. So, for the life of me, I have no idea why the sign about how to line up in CVS proves so difficult for everyone.

Seriously, people, it says “Step directly into line,” and then there are three arrows above the three separate lines. There’s no need for everyone to form a huge snakelike line that blocks off the aisles and causes this massive jam up. There’s no need to make the cashiers roll their eyes at the clueless NU students who can solve quantum physics theories but can’t interpret what the big red arrow means. And there’s no need for people like me – who understand the system – to deal with clueless customers glaring at us. I’m not cutting in front of you; I just learned how to follow simple directions. It’s a skill I picked up somewhere along the way – probably about the time I learned how to color in the lines and dress myself.

So let’s embrace CVS’ wisdom in creating the separate line theory and spread the love to all three cashiers. You buy your Crest Whitestrips and I’ll buy my pixie stix and with any luck, we’ll meet by the revolving door in time to have an awkward who’s-going-through-it-first moment.

– Christina Alexander

Copy chief