How I went broke over break

Jeremy Gordon

Recently I looked at my checking account activity to see if I had enough money to buy an Xbox 360 (I didn’t). I was surprised to find out that somehow I had spent more than $400 this winter break. I’m not bragging about being a big spender, because I’m not rich enough to do that. If I was, I wouldn’t spend long hours slaving away at my work-study job or steal so much food from the dining halls. In an attempt to cease hyperventilating, I tried to justify all of the spending I did.

Netflix renewal, $17. I rent movies from Netflix for the sake of art and entertainment. You can’t put a price on being enlightened and entertained, can you? Watching “The Deer Hunter” gave me insight into how war can affect small communities in the heartland of America, and it was totally awesome when Robert De Niro played Russian roulette with three bullets in the chamber.

Christmas present for my mother, $180. I got her a digital camera, which then enabled me to take our old one to school. Is it possible to buy affection? Apparently, since my mom loved the gift and I got out of having to put away the dishes for a few days because she was so happy. Consequently, I became even lazier than normal.

New passport, $100. I’m still not really sure why this was so expensive. It’ll be worth it, assuming I go abroad this year. If not, I think I just got screwed worse than Al Gore trying to get people to care about global warming.

Destroying my intestines, $70. It’s too bad Taco Bell shows up like eight times on here, which can’t be good for my stomach. I’m beginning to smell some of the money I set on fire.

Charge from CVS/pharmacy, $20. I bought a bag of gummi bears and got $20 cash back so I could pay my friend back for the Chicago Bulls tickets he bought for us. It was worth it, because the Bulls won (shocking). Given the way they’ve been playing, I’m lucky they played the New York Knicks, not a team that’s actually good.

Mysterious charge, $8. I have no idea what this is. Christmas candy? Passport photos? Four gallons of milk? We may never know.

Urban Outfitters purchase, $70. I immediately panicked and returned the $40 hoodie the next day. Whatever money I got back was lost in dignity as the hipsters at the register sneered at me until I felt bad for being such a poor shopper.

ATM withdrawals, $60. Regrettably, I think I spent most of this on Taco Bell and gas money for my friend who drove us to Taco Bell.

Living like a hobo for the next few weeks to rebuild my funds, priceless. Let’s hope spring break isn’t as harsh on my wallet.

Medill sophomore Jeremy Gordon can be reached at [email protected]