The First Pick Of The Draft Is …

Andrew Simon

With the NFL Draft only 10 days away, the extensive coverage got me thinking about what would happen if only Northwestern athletes were available. To answer this pressing question, I donned my magical Mel Kiper Jr. wig and predicted the top 10 picks:

1. Oakland Raiders: Jake Herbert, wrestling, 184 pounds. If there’s anything the Raiders and their fans love, it’s somebody with a mean streak. And nobody enjoys crushing opponents more than this season’s undefeated NCAA Champion. He would be a cult hero in Oakland in no time.

2. Detroit Lions: Erin Dyer, softball, catcher. The Lions have a history of using high draft picks on receivers, and if Dyer can handle the rockets that pitchers Eileen Canney and Lauren Delaney throw, she should be able to handle Jon Kitna.

3. Cleveland Browns: Kristen Kjellman, lacrosse, midfielder. The Browns are desperate for a franchise player who would bring excitement and give the Dawg Pound something to cheer about. The Tewaaraton Trophy winner would be the biggest star the Browns have had in a long time.

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Matt Grevers, swimming. The Bucs are rumored to covet receiver Calvin Johnson for his incredible mix of size, athleticism and speed. In this draft, they would be drawn to the 6-foot-7 Grevers, who would provide a big target to throw to and could swim past any defensive back in the league.

5. Arizona Cardinals: Willie the Wildcat, mascot. Arizona’s offensive line needs help. Willie needs to work on his aggressiveness and killer instinct. But he has good size, and his giant paws would help him manhandle opposing linemen. Also, he would be great for the team’s morale and spirit.

6. Washington Redskins: Aly Josephs, lacrosse, attacker. The ‘Skins need to improve their paltry pass rush. Josephs has the speed to get around bulky offensive linemen. Or, at 5 foot 3, she can always go through their legs to get to the quarterback. Once there though, she’ll need some help.

7. Minnesota Vikings: Tyrell Sutton, football, running back. Finally the first actual football player goes off the board. The Vikes need playmakers on offense, and Sutton is just that. Imagine what he could do on a team such as Minnesota that will call running plays instead of quarterback draws.

8. Atlanta Falcons: Garland Cooper, softball, first base. Defensive back is a priority for Atlanta, and Cooper would make a great safety. No receiver would want to go over the middle with her intimidating presence lurking there, and she has the reflexes and soft hands to intercept passes.

9. Miami Dolphins: Tim Doyle, basketball, forward. With Daunte Culpepper looking like a bust, Miami needs to solidify its future at quarterback. Doyle is an electric passer, as he set NU’s single-season assists record this season. He would also bring some flair to the game, throwing screen passes behind his back and challenging Michael Vick for the league lead in spin moves. But there would be one downside: Nobody would be able to see his nicely gelled hair under a helmet.

10. Houston Texans: Morgan Lathrop, lacrosse, goalie. The third lacrosse player chosen goes to Houston, as the Texans look to upgrade their porous pass defense. Lathrop is adept at letting nothing get by her. She would also bring a championship mentality to a franchise that has never tasted the playoffs.