Margo Scott

By Margo ScottPLAY Columnist

I found a lot of opinions as I surveyed NU students about cunnilingus. And, in large part, they received my questions well. I found this encouraging, as I think cunnilingus is awesome. So for those of you who aren’t necessarily inclined toward people with vaginas, perhaps this article can just judgmentally be held over other people’s heads. For the rest of you, welcome downtown.

One guy said, “I really enjoy cunnilingus … my first girlfriend gave me a crash course in how to get her off, and ever since, I’ve become quite good at it.” Cheers. In my opinion, if you are dating a woman, and you intend to have sexual relations with her, you need to be prepared to go down. Or at least willing to discuss trying it. Why? Because as onetime porn star Ron Jeremy once said, “I’ve gotten more women off with my tongue than my dick.”

This is because the clitoris, the center of the female orgasm (for those of you who have been living under a rock), is unfortunately located a centimeter or so too high to get a lot of stimulation during intercourse. But, with direct stimulation, like with a tongue or lips, your lady will certainly have a much better chance of getting off. But only if you know what she likes.

There are certain techniques different people would espouse. But it’s important to remember that not every woman will find the same things pleasurable. That’s why it’s important to ask. It doesn’t matter what’s worked on girls before – it’s about what works for her now. Men and women alike have to figure out what their female partner’s like – lesbians usually have more tricks up their sleeve, though.

When preparing to perform oral sex on your partner, pay attention to her body language. One girl, in fact, said she wasn’t entirely comfortable having a guy go down on her. “I think, as a woman, people expect me to be able to write a whole editorial shouting the praises of cunnilingus and admonishing men who do not perform this ‘miracle operation.’ But you know what? Sometimes, I just don’t want it! Yeah, that’s right. I don’t want it, nor will I demand it from anyone.” Therefore, gauging your partner’s comfort level is crucial. Does she seem into it? If not, don’t do it. If she does, is she more into it at different times or when you’re doing different things? Listen to her breathing. Some women like a finger (or two!) inside them while experiencing cunnilingus. This is because the clitoris is actually wishbone-shaped and extends down, about two inches inside the vagina. Dr. Betty Dodson calls this the “internal clitoris.” Some women prefer purely clitoral head stimulation, and a quick “can I go inside?” will clear that question up.

Here’s one quick tip I will leave you with: Unlike men, women don’t have that “point of no return.” We can lose our orgasm right up until we are having one – annoying! It’s important to keep a steady pace, and if you get tired, switch off with your fingers, or a sex toy. Be safe, use dams if you aren’t in a committed monogamous relationship – and enjoy!

SESP senior Margo Scott is a PLAY sex columnist. She can be reached at [email protected]