All Sorry’d Out

Laura Moore

By Laura MoorePLAY Columnist

For all you trend whores out there, I just wanted to let you know that saying sorry is, like, so last month. Just ask Mel Gibson who told Good Morning America’s Diane Sawyer “I’ve apologized more than anyone I know, so it’s getting old.”

Did you hear that? It’s getting old. Apologizing for getting wasted, getting behind the wheel of his car and going on a tirade blaming the Jews for all the wars in the world is sort of like your UGG boots. That is, dunzo. So, really you guys, it’s time to stop focusing on Mel Gibson: drunken, misogynistic anti-Semite, and start focusing on Mel Gibson: director who has a big-budget movie coming out. I mean, clearly Mel is “sorry’d” out, and isn’t there something in the Bible about erring being human and forgiving being divine? I bet Mel would know. Unless it’s in the Old Testament – which, you know, is pretty Jewish.

But for serious, hasn’t this man been through enough!? Let’s think about this rationally. When news first broke about Mel’s DUI and his hate speech, he immediately expressed his regret to tons of media sources and deemed his own comments despicable to anyone that would listen. It’s obvious that in his attempt at damage control, Mel blew his apology load prematurely. So now, two months later, he’s pretty much emptied out. It’s a classic case of too much, too soon. It’s not like Mel wants to stop apologizing, he’s just done it more than anyone he knows. He’s been there, done that. Oh, and did I mention he has a movie coming out? Can’t we talk about that? Or the fact they canceled that Holocaust special he was producing! WTF, right!?

Plus, Mel didn’t just apologize with his words, but with his actions. He did the banishment from society thing for a while and used his “time out” for a stint in rehab and to really do some soul searching. I’m sure he had many very sobering moments in one of his Malibu mansions or in Australia or maybe on a yacht somewhere. I know I do my best repenting on yachts, especially if there’s an on-site masseuse and helipad.

All I’m saying is I totally know where Mel is coming from. Once, I told everyone at school that a friend of mine was dating her cousin and she got SO mad and I apologized for what seemed like, give or take, two months. It was like ugh, how many more times can I say sorry, you know? What did she want me to do? Do an exclusive interview with Good Morning America’s Diane Sawyer to show I really meant it? It’s not like I had a movie coming out. Mel Gibson does, though. It’s coming out soon, remember?

So long story short I think Mel’s apologies are getting old too. It’s time to focus on more important things like AIDS, poverty and Paris and Nicole’s reconciliation. And Mel’s new movie, of course. Let’s collectively let this whole “apologizing profusely” craze die or, as Mel might say, it’s time to move on, Sugartits.

Medill senior Laura Moore is a PLAY pop culture columnist. She can be reached at [email protected]