A short while ago, whilst relieving myself in my dorm lavatory, I noticed an intriguing article in our bi-quarterly bathroom journal – so intriguing, in fact, that I decided to mention it in the first sentence of my PLAY column.

Smudged, crumpled and reeking of imitation Lysol, the feature wasn’t glamorous – unlike, say, the masterwork you’re currently holding – but it nonetheless tackled an issue that’s plagued our campus for decades. A phenomenon so powerful, so magnificent, so gut-wrenchingly inescapable that it’s swept the nation faster than iPods, cell phones and Lizzie McGuire.

I’m referring, of course, to the same topic my boss, the Daily editor-in-chief Ryan Wenzel, addressed in one of his earlier PLAY columns: collegiate awkwardness.

We’ve all had the conversations, seen the spectacles and joined the Facebook groups – my personal favorites include “Team Awkward,” “Shit Got Awkward” and, naturally, “I Hooked Up With Someone On the Daily, and Now My Life May or May Not Be Horrifically Awkward” – but, when we reflect on our own gracelessness, we always seem to draw the same conclusions. We kick ourselves for accidentally snubbing last night’s blowjob buddy. We’re mortified when we run into the acquaintance we drunkenly Facebook-poked during Reading Week. And, like my good buddy Ryan, we write (or read) PLAY columns to help ourselves “perfect the art of avoiding awkwardness.”

In short, when it comes to coping with social faux pas, we’re a bunch of cowards. We screen phone calls, take roundabout paths, pretend we’re away from the computer when we’re actually AIM stalking – all to avoid several seconds (or, if you’re really screwed, minutes) of uncomfortable interaction.

That, however, is not how I roll. Er, at least that’s not how I’d like to roll.

The other day, as I found myself dodging behind shrubbery to avoid a New Student Week hook-up, I had two epiphanies. First, I should stop allowing myself to be governed by awkwardness. Second, I really, really hate shrubbery.

Let’s suppose, for a moment, that I hadn’t been so un-ballsy. That, instead of ducking out of a potentially uncomfortable situation, I’d stayed on Sheridan Rd., smiled at said hook-up, and politely thanked her for a delightful New Student Week. Sure, it might be a little unconventional but, then again, so are Three 6 Mafia – and they won an Oscar.

So next time you’re stuck in a thorny situation, remember the legacy of DJ Paul, Juicy J, Lord Infamous, and Crunchy Black – known to the hip-hop challenged as “those guys who swore at the Academy Awards” – and do something daring. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get a Facebook invite to “Awkward and Proud.”

Medill sophomore Dan Macsai is the PLAY editor. He can be reached at [email protected].