Of the things I’ve talked about in my column, I find that this week’s topic polarizes people into two groups – those who love and can’t live without and those who are so uninterested they feel physical discomfort at the thought. What intimate maneuver am I referring to?
What else but anal sex.
Don’t assume that it’s just for the gays anymore – we’re just a few years ahead of the trends. Homo and hetero alike are realizing the pleasure of back-door sexual encounters. I spoke with Northwestern students about their thoughts on anal sex, and they range from, “It’s so good, there’s way more friction than any other type of sex,” to “If someone ever asked me to try anal sex, I would throw them out of bed, out of my apartment and onto the street.”
With that in mind, be diplomatic in your approach. Try to stay away from requests that sound like, “Can I fuck you in the ass?” or “Come on, let me just put the head in.” Potentially passive partners: Do not, under any circumstances, feel obligated to engage in an activity with which you are not comfortable.
Because of the sensitivity of the anus, the mechanics of anal sex can sometimes be tricky. A water-soluble lubricant (such as WET!, Astroglide or KY) can make everything a little easier. I also recommend saving the butt sex for a special someone, since it can be more awkward and embarrassing than other sexual possibilities.
A good position for beginners to start with is for the passive, or bottom partner to be above the top, or active partner. This way the partner being penetrated can control the extent of penetration as well as the speed at which it occurs. It is essential for the passive partner to be as relaxed as possible for a comfortable experience. If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of anal sex, it’s not the type of thing you just try for the pleasure of the other partner (that’s what digital stimulation is for). And in heterosexual encounters, an alternative to anal sex that offers the same range of motion is vaginal sex with the male partner entering from behind (think about it for a second).
As a safety note, just because it’s not vaginal sex does not mean that foregoing the use of a condom is OK. With that said, be sure to change condoms between vaginal and anal sex, even when they occur in close succession. Bacteria found in the rectum could potentially lead to an infection in the sensitive tissue of the vagina.
The use of colon irrigation techniques – such as an enema or colonic – is a good idea if you are worried about blockage, shall we say.
As with anything new and exciting, discuss adding anal sex to the mix prior to five seconds before entry. This way, the decision to engage in this activity is deliberate and thought out, encouraging a more pleasurable and safe experience for everyone.
Weinberg junior Daniel Crowder is the PLAY sex columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].
