I called my sister Monday to wish her a happy birthday. Danielle is 32 now, but to talk to her you’d think she was still in college. She loves Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton and was shocked — shocked! — that Road Rules won “The Gauntlet” on MTV.
You might think that Danielle is trying to extend her youth as she approaches middle-age, but you’d be wrong. She’s just trying to live the life she never got to have.
Married at 20 and mother of two by 25, my sister didn’t spend her 21st birthday dancing on bars or doing body shots off of her boyfriend’s neck.
Since she was three months pregnant it was a quiet night of Chinese take-out and Must-See-TV.
It surprises me every time I hear about people in their early 20s getting married. I always think back to Janeane Garofalo’s diatribe about love and commitment.
“What about these people that marry their high school sweethearts?” she asked. “That’s saying all doors that are opened should now be closed for the rest of your life. ‘I’m gonna stay with the person whose locker happened to be next to mine when I was 15.'”
Weinberg junior Britta McNair sees it differently. McNair has been engaged to her high school sweetheart since 2001 when she first came to Northwestern.
“When we met we were going in separate directions,” McNair said. “But we both knew that we wanted each other in our lives.”
Though she says there was negative feedback at first, friends and family came around and now support her.
McNair contends she’s not rushing into marriage: Her wedding is not until spring 2005. But some might say this is still premature.
Garofalo suggests, somewhat facetiously, that “you shouldn’t be able to get married until you’re 35.” This might be a little radical — maybe 30 would be more reasonable.
That way 22-year-old Britney Spears could have avoided her recent Vegas nuptials to her childhood friend if the age restriction were in place. Carmen Electra was only 26 when she walked down the aisle with Dennis Rodman, but it wasn’t until she was 31 that Electra became Mrs. Dave Navarro.
Even if I could get married –and that’s a whole other issue — I’m not sure that I would want to. Though it would be nice to find my “soul mate,” like McNair says she has, there would always be that part of me that felt like I was closing those open doors. I know that I’m not ready to make the sacrifices that marriage entails, nor are most people my age.
A lot of people will get married right out of school, and a fair share will likely spend the rest of their lives in wedded bliss. My sister has been happily married for more than ten years.
But I’m sure a part of her still wishes she had done those body shots.
