David Fireman wants to challenge stereotypes of senior citizens as feeble and asexual beings.
“Does anybody actually like the term ‘elderly?'” the social worker asked Friday morning at a seminar on senior sexuality.
“No,” a chorus of about 20 voices replied. A woman in the back said she’d prefer to be called “55 and better.” Another one suggested “mature.”
The seminar, a joint effort by North Shore social-service agencies that assist seniors, was part of the 5th Annual Aging Well Conference, which took place at the King Home, 1555 Oak Ave.
Carl R. Hatfield, 88, a former pastor who carries an ID card for “Dr. Silly,” said senior citizens ought to be respected for their age.
“People address me as ‘young man,'” said Hatfield, who lives in a retirement community at 1020 Grove St. “I say, ‘You’re wiser than that.'”
Hatfield was one of more than 100 senior citizens and advocates who attended the event to discuss senior issues ranging from the typical — memory and sensory changes — to the alternative, such as Fireman’s sexuality session and a workshop on integrative medicine.
Evanston Mayor Lorraine H. Morton, said she approved of the conference’s theme, “Aging Well — Choices and Myths”.
“It’s good to dispel some myths as we grow older,” Morton said. “Maybe aging is in the mind, because if you feel good, aging doesn’t matter one bit.”
Hatfield couldn’t agree more.
A smile creeps across Hatfield’s face when he talks about his wife of 10 years. He believes everyone — young and old — should be so lucky.
“I think that people do need to touch,” said Hatfield, an advocate of “hug clubs” for seniors. “If you’re 70 or you’re 75, don’t be ashamed of being a sensual person.”
The session on sexuality always draws a large crowd, even though some people are apprehensive to preregister, said Nancy Flowers, co-chairwoman of the conference.
The conference’s planners base their programming on surveys given out after each session.
“We try to really listen to what it is seniors want, and it’s not always what we think they want,” said Flowers, who also works for the Evanston Commission on Aging.
The conference also fosters communication between the agencies that plan it, Flowers said.
Working together allows each group to do its job better, said Carla Frisch, of Metropolitan Family Services Evanston/Skokie Valley Center.
“The social services in Evanston people really know each other,” Frisch said.
The conference provides seniors with strategies for various aspects of their lives. After Sept. 11, 2001, many seniors wanted to learn about safety issues, so a practical preparedness seminar was added this year, said Amanda Jones of Evanston Police Department.
Chuck Andrews, 75, said the session motivated him to buy a battery for his flashlight as well as mosquito repellent to avoid the West Nile virus.
In another session, Karen Koffler of Evanston Northwestern Hospital encouraged seniors to consider alternative approaches to medicine. Koffler said American society has to be more attentive to seniors’ needs.
“One of the huge, egregious mistakes of our culture is that we have no recognition of the authority that elders represent,” Koffler said.
With this respect should come the ability for seniors to express themselves, Hatfield said.
“We need to be able to talk about sexuality,” he said. “It’s a part of our lives.
“I’m campaigning for openness and inclusion.”
