David Kohn is a Weinberg sophomore. He can be reached at [email protected].

Pretty much everyone has a candidate to vote against tomorrow. The general reasons are widely known; Gore is a liar, Bush is an intellectual lightweight, Nader is a radical, Buchanan is a xenophobic isolationist. That’s all fine. Our two-year-long election year has come down to its final 36 hours, and the cases for and against all sides pretty much have been made.

But there’s one candidate running for president who I hope we can all agree not to vote for under any circumstances, and that is Lyndon H. LaRouche Jr. LaRouche, according to his Web site, has run for president every four years since 1976. His lack of extensive publicity this year will keep him from getting many votes. This is a very good thing.

LaRouche’s Web site is something of an amusing read. He calls Great Britain the “present world-capital of international terrorism.” He accuses Queen Elizabeth II of being behind the political destabilization of Italy, the death of Princess Diana and the global drug trade. He writes dozens and dozens of pages about how the world financial system is on the verge of complete collapse, citing recent downswings in the market as proof of “the worst economic crash in three centuries.”

His solution? Get rid of all your money so we can start an economic system based on something else. “It was only paper,” he says.

As for a platform, he wants video games treated as controlled substances. He says youth violence is also caused by: a) J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and the “Star Wars” movies, for “dehumanizing” the bad guys (“Do these creatures look human to you?” he asks.) and b) the replacement of the rule of law with “an arbitrary set of pseudo-scientific rules, like those of the popularized ‘Star Trek’ series,” which galvanize the “prospective terrorist killer.” Don’t even talk to him about “Star Trek” video games.

I remember seeing some LaRouche supporters on campus a few weeks ago. They had a big poster on their car, the message of which was that both major candidates are essentially identical. To illustrate this, the poster depicted a rear view of Bush and Gore simultaneously lowering their pants and passing gas.

I was in a hurry as I rushed by, so I didn’t get to talk to them. Probably a good thing, too; I can see myself grilling them for hours on end, just for the pure entertainment value. “You’re supporting LaRouche? You realize that he blames every major historical event on a conspiracy? You don’t? You knew that he blames military puppet-masters for creating violent video games, didn’t you? Why haven’t you read your own candidate’s platform? What’s the matter with you?”

Then, when I wanted to leave, I’d just turn to look at their car. “Oh, wait, what a cool picture! Wow! I never saw it that way. I’d better go encourage all my friends to vote for him. Bye.”

I’m at a loss to figure out where his support is coming from. Most people making a statement vote for third-party candidates that people have heard of. I guess there are some voters who feel you’re not really breaking from the status quo if you support a candidate who is sane.

So vote for whomever you’ve decided to vote for. Remember, it’s not a wasted vote, and it’s not a vote for mediocrity. It’s really a vote against LaRouche.