Dirty Talk: Q&A: C-store lube, sexual smiles
October 18, 2012
Now that we know each other a little better, let's get to the dirty talk. You sent me your questions, so here's my take on your coitus conundrums.
While eating in the 1835 Hinman dining hall, I was thinking about what they sell and don't sell in the C-stores. They sell condoms, but not lube. Something in this strikes me as wrong. Are the C-stores catering exclusively to heterosexual couples? Are they assuming no homosexual patrons will come in to buy condoms? While I appreciate that the C-stores are helping to promote safe and healthy sex, I wish they would recognize sexuality in all its myriad forms. What are your thoughts on this?
I happen to live in 1835 Hinman, so I took a quick trip downstairs to check out the situation. Of the three kinds they have downstairs (Trojan's Magnum, Pleasure Pack and Sensations varieties), two of them are labeled "lubricated." Unfortunately, the lubrication on condoms is often of a lesser quality than the lube you would buy separately. (Side note: I highly recommend Sliquid if you are inclined to purchase your own lube) My best guess is that the people in charge of stocking the C-stores want to make sure it's clear that they are encouraging students to be safe, but making sure students are having pleasurable sex is lower on their agenda. Although I don't agree with such a decision, I can understand the reasoning behind it.
Last week my boyfriend and I were midway through sex when he said something that made me feel so awkward. We’ve been together for about three months and things have been nice. But in the middle of sex he asked me, “Why aren’t you smiling?” I had no idea what to say so I just … said nothing. What should I have done?
Wow, I have so many questions. Do you usually smile during sex? Is it uncommon that he ask you questions during sex? Was the sex less good than usual, thus resulting in a different facial expression on your part? These are all things worth considering. It's hard to imagine a "correct" way to respond that wouldn't have killed the mood. Then again, he definitely already killed the mood with what seems like an accusatory question. I think the most honest response you could have given would be something that reflected what was going on in your head at the time, i.e. "WHAT?" Regardless of what you could have done, you should clarify what he meant now. Any time you're made to feel uncomfortable during sex, you should make sure your partner is aware of your discomfort. If, after asking for clarification and explaining the way he made you feel, he continues to make you feel uncomfortable, show him the door.
That's all for now, Wildcats. Want something juicier? Email me your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.