By David KalanThe Daily Northwestern

I’ve learned two very interesting things in the last six weeks.

The first one is Gerald Ford was the greatest President. Ever.

The second thing I learned is Barbaro was the greatest living creature. Ever. In history. Period.

In the case of Ford, the two-time national champion and all-American football player may have been the most athletic president of all time, but his pardon-doling accidental administration certainly can’t be the best we’ve witnessed – not when such greats as Franklin Pierce and William Henry Harrison have roamed the Oval Office.

As far as Barbaro is concerned, I thought it was sad until I learned that, apparently, officials are considering exhuming JFK’s body at Arlington National so they can use his plot for a proper resting place for the now deceased equine.

It’s a horse.

A horse. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, a horse of a different color, my kingdom for a horse, h-o-r-s-e, horse.

A HORSE.

Now, I remember finding it sad as I watched Barbaro shatter his leg at Pimlico last year.

But it’s a horse.

People eat horses. Really, they do. I hear it’s stringy. According to a 2005 article in Sports Illustrated, there are slaughterhouses producing horse meat in the U.S. – one of them right here in Illinois – and shipping them to countries like Belgium, where it sells for $40 a plate.

In fact, an estimated 90,000 horses a year become what Jan Schakowsky derided in an article last year in the San Francisco Chronicle as “Barbaro burgers.”

It’s not pretty, but it’s true. Do you spend days weeping when cattle meet their maker?

I understand the surgeons. To spend eight months working on Barbaro and then to euthanize him must be upsetting and difficult.

But do the rest of us really care that much about racing horses?

Go ahead. Name the five Kentucky Derby winners before Barbaro. I dare you.

Giacomo, Smarty Jones, Funny Cide, War Emblem and Monarchos are all waiting for your response.

The real shame here is unlike these five horses, Barbaro didn’t survive long enough to be put out to stud, which, if I understand it correctly, sounds like one hell of a life. Well maybe Funny Cide didn’t get to enjoy that either.

In truth, horses are put down all the time after breaking their legs. This is because the pain the horse endures is too unbearable, which really makes it kind of humanitarian in a Million Dollar Baby sort of way.

It’s unfortunate, and yes, Barbaro was a great racing thoroughbread. But unless you want to stop using adhesives, horses dying is a fact of life most of us will have to come to terms with.

Sports Editor David Kalan is a Weinberg senior. He is a heartless jerk every Friday. Reach him at [email protected].